I have a ten-year-old son and an almost eight-year-old daughter that are deeply interested in everything I do. I've been told that this will change (at least in appearance) when they become teenagers, but for now, they want to be involved in everything and anything that I'm interested in. This means that if I'm watching a movie or TV show, playing a computer game, or puttering around in my woodshop, their eyes are on me and what I am doing.
The church advises us to keep a certain standard in what media we consume, explicitly forbidding pornography and "R" rated movies. Some LDS parents that I know have stated that some PG-13 movies are even too harsh to view with their families. While each family has to make that decision for themselves, we continued to watch some PG-13 movies (like the Lord of the Rings trilogy and Harry Potter IV). However, we made a change to that policy recently that started with the Doc-Oc hospital scene in Spider-Man 2 and solidified into a hard ban on PG-13 movies just a few months ago.
About four or five years ago, my wife and I decided to make our family relationships a level playing field. That means that whatever standards we set for the kids, we live ourselves. So if I'm watching a movie with my wife, we don't shoo the kids out of the room. If I'm playing a video game that makes me feel uncomfortable playing in front of the kids, I don't tell them to find something else to do. If I'm surfing on the internet, they can feel free to hop on my lap and watch as I blog or email or chat. Sometimes, my daughter has pithy things to say about the things I write online. :D
So when the aforementioned scene in Spider-Man 2 popped onto the screen during the parental preview, my wife and I turned to each other and decided then and there that PG-13 movies were no good for our kids. More importantly, we realized that if they weren't any good for our kids, they probably weren't any good for us.
This is very important because it flies in the face of how I was raised. There was always a division between kids and adults. There was always things the adults did that the kids could not do. Now, I'm erasing part of that line by not doing things that my kids can't or shouldn't do themselves. It's not a self-righteous thing, it's an equality thing. I don't want to be a hypocrite, this seems like the right thing to do.
So where do you draw the line? Should there be things that adults watch but exclude the kids? Should there be different standards?
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2 comments:
I like what you're doing with your family! The home in which I grew up was pretty much as you describe, while my husband was often shooed away while the parents did as they pleased. It has caused a rift in how we handle things. Very difficult.
Thanks for the comment! It's a fine line between including everyone and making sure children are protected. Society has built in an expectation of what being an adult means, and that includes doing things that aren't necessarily good for adults either!
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